The Talk.Origins Archive: Exploring the Creation/Evolution Controversy

Evolution Hoax Revealed!! Breaking News!
Post of the Month: April 1997
by Anonymous

This is a shocking article that someone went through great pains to smuggle past the authorities. It is not slated for any publication. Please read:

(The Daily Press, April 14, 1997)

Events at Michigan State University last night will soon turn the scientific world into turmoil. The theory of evolution, once regarded as the most rational explanation for the existence of species, was denounced by all the world's preeminent scientists as a hoax.

"The joke is over. I want to get back to my research on the Holy Bible," stated Richard Dawkins to the N.Y. Times. "It was fun, but I think we took it a bit too far. It is now time to reveal the truth." Dawkins, author of 'The Blind Watchmaker', arguably the most convincing book on evolution for the layman, said of it, "It was intended as a satire but I guess there are alot of gullible people out there who took it seriously."

The summit in Michigan started off seriously but led into a three-hour long celebration of the history of Darwinism. The circus was the theme last night and presenters did a number of magic tricks to raise spirits of the shocked press.

Said Phillip Johnson, "It is so nice to finally stop this charade!" There was much hugging and rejoicing as the celebrations got underway. Ex-Evolutionists and Creationists were smiling and bumping elbows all night. It was truly a joyous occasion.

Among the leading evolutionists who revealed the hoax were Ian Plimer, Barry Price, Eugene Scott, Richard Trott, Ken Saladin, Kenneth Miller, Steven J. Gould, and the world's foremost expert on evolution, the highly respected Dr. Duane Gish. Hundreds more revealed their part in the scheme.

On hand even was Carl Sagan's son, who read a memorandum stating his part in the hoax. "I really wish Dad was here today to see his dream become a reality and to see the look on people's faces," he said.

Also revealed were Darwin's suppressed letters, one of which stated, "The best way to get back at the atheists is to pull the rug out from under them." The letter went on in detail of a process in which to sucker in non-believers and then suddenly convert them. A 'theory of mutability' was the central key to his plan.

Ex-Evolutionists will now concentrate their efforts on theology and the search for Noah's Ark. "I know it's out there, I can feel it," confessed Dawkins. Christian Apologists were equally happy, as their time was freed of having to make up defenses for religion.

"It was just part of the plan," said J.P. Moreland of his book 'Scaling the Secular City'. William Craig also was on hand and mused, "Our arguments were there because we didn't want everyone to believe in evolution. Imagine the riot if we had tricked everyone!"

Why the hoax was uncovered only recently, according to Darwin's letters, was "...before the end of the world [the year 2000], the hoax should be revealed. This will allow for the safe return of Christ to gather all his followers..."

The celebration ended with a prayer to God, thanking Him for the courage to go through with the complex conspiracy. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways. -DP

Reporter's Note:
Do not expect to see this on television. It is all a bunch of fabricated lies! Do you think that the press will give up their persuasive tool of evolution used to lure in unsuspecting people? Evolution means money and ratings to the corporate networks. If you have read this, you will be one of the enlightened few to know. After all, only you can believe in the real truth: the Word of God. I've heard rumors that all the scientists have been paid off by the media and government so as not to reveal this conspiracy to the world. Yet another strike against God by the immoral evolutionists.


-- ICR RULES!!!! I LOVE YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --

Article originally posted April 14, 1997

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